Fifth Time's A Charm
by bookdiva
Summary: Happy Birthday Deeks! His first birthday as her partner, well, neither of them like to think back on that time. The second year wasn't much different. The third year... that one stung. And the fourth year she was half way around the world. So it's understandable that Deeks is surprised that Kensi wants to celebrate his fifth birthday as her partner. Even if they are "all in" now.


_**AN: Hey guys! Totally not my usual style, but it's Deeks's birthday! I had to write something! Also, no one looked this over, so… it's rough. All mistakes are mine. :)**_

_**I hope that you enjoy it, and if you can, leave a review!**_

_**Blessings,**_

_**bookdiva**_

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As partners, they haven't really had the best track record with his birthday. That first year… well, neither one of them really _love_ to think back to that first year. Any part of it.

Yeah, when people talk about love at first sight? Not Kensi and Deeks. He annoyed her, she annoyed him. They were oil and water. Until, well, suddenly they weren't anymore.

The second year wasn't that much different than the first. Sure, they no longer wanted to kill each other, but they certainly weren't at the let's-spend-our-birthdays-together stage. It really wasn't until that third year as partners that either one of them even realized something had shifted.

That third year as partners, he planned an epic day of fun (and a ridiculous amount of junk food) for her birthday. She'd protested, but he knew she hadn't had other plans. In the end, it had been a wonderful day for the both of them. And then his birthday had rolled around.

The day started early, with a case that reminded him of the past. The past was something he never really wanted to deal with, especially on his birthday. But as was seemingly the pattern in his life, Deeks didn't always (ever) get what he really wanted. So, at an ungodly hour in the morning, he dragged himself out of bed and into work. Because that is who Deeks is. And he dropped hints and took the usual banter and cracks at his former profession because he _really_ thought that she'd have something planned. They hadn't talked about it, but it just hadn't crossed his mind that he'd spend the day with anyone else.

Unfortunately, she didn't. Which should have been fine with him. He faltered slightly when she said her plans weren't with him, but he was a damn good undercover operative, so he'd managed a passable cover up. And as he watched her walk away for her date (it's-not-a-date) with the con who'd saved both their lives (because it wasn't like _Deeks_ had ever saved her life before once… or a few dozen times… or whatever), he felt a slight twinge in the area that supposedly housed his heart. He shook it off with a smile and a laugh—just as he'd done his entire life—and proceeded to call up his long-time friend, Kip. Unfortunately, he forgot that Kip was at an away game, so he ended up sitting on his couch, watching the clock tick down, and wondering why this birthday felt so different from all the other similar ones.

It struck him all at once as the clock passed midnight and he was officially another whole year older. It was because this year—for the first time since he could remember—he'd had expectations. He'd been so excited, actually looking forward to spending time with _her_. So he decided, right then and there as he slipped into bed for his usual night of restless sleep, it was high time he learned what expectation could do. It was better not to expect something, because then—in theory at least—it didn't hurt to lose it.

And he didn't think about her attempt at making up for missing—excuse him, _mixing up the date of_—his birthday. He totally didn't stare at the ceiling at night, unable to sleep as he pondered what she'd gotten him that "he wanted more than anything else in the world". He didn't stress over it, fantasize about it. Nope. Not even a little bit.

All in all, his third birthday as her partner was pretty crappy.

If only he'd known how much of an indication that missed birthday would be for the coming year. Alas, after an unplanned (and unpleasant) dentistry experience, rehab, the-best-night-of-his-life followed by the-worst-morning-after-of-his-life (what the hell was that whole frozen lake thing about, anywho?), and one satellite phone call, his fourth birthday as her partner passed much the same as the first three. Unacknowledged. And he told himself that it didn't hurt this time, because he hadn't expected anything this time. (Well, he had, but he wouldn't admit those fantasies to anyone… not even if they tortured him. And he had enough experience to make that claim.)

So his fourth birthday passed without notice again, and he told himself that when he felt that familiar twinge in his chest, it was really just a combination of missing his partner—she _was_ half way around the world, after all—and indigestion.

The next year passed. A rescue mission to Afghanistan, losing part of his soul, finding her, bringing her home, adjusting, backing away, and falling back into the early days of their _thing_ all occurred before that fateful day on a literal frozen lake. And suddenly they were saying things like _"no more games" _and _"chips on the table"_, but mostly they were _"all in". _They spent their fifth Christmas together as partners figuring out just what _"all in"_ meant.

And Deeks was totally good with the definition they decided on. Really, if it meant that he got to kiss her and wake up with her every morning, then he'd take what he could get.

To ring in 2015, Deeks diffused his first bomb on the job. He wasn't sure if that was a good omen for what 2015 held or not, but he was choosing to believe it was good. They were still breathing at the end of the day, Callen was going to be okay, and to close it all out, they'd had a group Zen session (because that totally wasn't a metaphor for anything). And damn it, they _deserved_ a good year.

With Callen and Sam at CDC headquarters, things were slow for the remaining team (Kensi, Deeks, Nell, and Eric). They mostly handled paperwork for the week, got in around 8:30 every morning, and went home at a respectable hour every night.

So on Thursday morning, when Deeks woke up not to the sound of the usual blaring alarm (because that god-awful tone was the only thing that could break through Kensi's sleep most mornings) but to strong, warm sunlight drifting in through the curtains and looked over to see the clock indicated it was quarter past nine, he freaked out.

"Kens!" he exclaimed, jumping out of bed. His mind began to imagine all the consequences there would be for them both coming in late, and he reached over to her side of the bed to shake her awake. But she wasn't there. "Kensi!" he called again, this time louder. He spun around the room, becoming alert instantaneously. As soon as he was fully alert, he heard techno music coming from down the hall. Most likely from his kitchen.

He cautiously crept down the hall and peered around the corner. The sight before him rendered him momentarily speechless.

Kensi Marie Blye, dressed only in his t-shirt from the day before, was dancing around his kitchen with Monty. She had left her hair down, and it was currently tangled in Monty's paws as he was standing up to 'dance' with Kensi. And that wasn't even the strangest part of the scene. Upon surveying the scene, it appeared that Kensi had prepared a tray of breakfast foods. Specifically _his favorite_ breakfast foods.

"Wha—uh, what is… I mean, um… what?" he stuttered out, wincing internally. _Smooth._

Kensi jumped, clearly startled at his appearance. Monty let out a grateful huff and darted away from her. Had they been any other couple, Deeks probably would've laughed at the wide-eyed, startled, hand-in-the-cookie-jar look on her face, but he was too startled by the whole predicament to react normally.

"You aren't supposed to be up yet," Kensi said, her cheeks turning a bright pink color.

"We're… we're late to work, Kensi," Deeks protested. Kensi just shook her head.

"We have the day off," she said, her face stretching out into a wide grin.

A million questions ran through his mind—how could they have a day off? why would she do that without talking to him first? how could they take a day off together?—but he settled on the most obvious one.

"Why?" he asked, struggling to wrap his mind around her words.

_I must be dreaming,_ he thought to himself. He shook his head. Yeah. That was it. Dreaming. _It's the only explanation that makes sense. _

"Oh, funny guy," Kensi said, sending one of her famous snort-laughs over her shoulder as she turned away from him. "Now go get back in bed so I can bring you your breakfast."

The morning was going from weird to _weirder_, and Deeks wasn't sure what to make of it.

"But _why_?" he repeated. Kensi turned around to him, her lips opened to make a snarky comment. One look at his face, however, revealed that he wasn't joking.

"Wait," she said, holding up her hand. Her eyes narrowed at him. "You're… serious?"

"As serious as Hetty with a letter opener," he said, hesitantly trying to lighten the suddenly heavy mood. Even he could tell it was a weak attempt.

"You're not joking?" Kensi clarified. "You _really_ don't know what today is?"

Deeks cocked his head to the side.

"Thursday?" he answered hesitantly. "January 8th?" Kensi nodded for him to continue. "My birthday?"

Kensi's grin lit up her eyes for all of one second when she realized that he still seemed confused.

"Your birthday, Deeks!" she exclaimed, half-exasperated and half-confused. "We have the day off and you're getting breakfast in bed because it's your birthday!"

"Okaaaaay…" he said, still looking at Kensi as if he was waiting for the punchline. She stared back at him, and for a long moment they stood in his kitchen, locked in a staring match. "Okay, I'll give," Deeks broke first. "What's the punchline?" Kensi looked confused. "Did I do something wrong? Is that what this is? Because I apologize—_sincerely_—for whatever it is."

"No, Deeks, you… you didn't… what?" Kensi shook her head. "It's… your _birthday_," she repeated, as if that should explain everything.

"Oh," Deeks said simply. He turned to go back to their bedroom, but Kensi grabbed his hand.

"Wait," she called, pulling him back toward him. "Last—uh, two years ago," she said, stumbling over her words at the veiled reference to the memories of that forbidden year, "you were so excited for your birthday. I just… I mean, I just thought—"

"You just… surprised me, I guess," Deeks said with a shrug. "My birthday's never been a big deal before, so I just figured this year wouldn't be any different."

"Deeks—" Kensi choked out. She looked down, suddenly drowning in guilt. Her normal response would be to pull back away, maybe land a punch to his arm and joke it off, but this was the new Kensi. And the new Kensi was _all in. _She raised her eyes back to look into his, and she felt a tear slip down her cheek.

"I'm sorry," she said. He opened his mouth to protest, but she held up a hand to stop him. "No. I've never really apologized to you—and I know you've never asked me to—but I need to." She stopped and took a deep breath.

"I'm not sorry for the first two years, because without that rocky start we wouldn't be where we are now," she began. "But I am sorry for two years ago. You're a good undercover operator, I'll give you that," she said, and he chuckled slightly at that. "But I could see that I hurt you, and I chose to ignore it. I _am_ sorry for that. And I'm sorry for… for everything last year."

That's all she can get out of her mouth, but really, that's all they need. They've always been better with their eyes, anyways. He looked into her eyes and sees what she can't say—I'm sorry for running off and pulling back and just everything—and she looked into his eyes and saw the forgiveness reflected there.

He gave her a smile then turned away and walked back down the hall. This time, she let him go. By the time she'd finished up arranging the tray and walked into their bedroom, he was under the covers and feigning sleep.

"Deeks?" she called as she stepped fully into the room. He answered with an exaggerated snore, and she couldn't help the giggle that escaped her lips. She set the tray on the bedside table and crawled toward him.

"Deeeeks…" she repeated, leaning down to kiss the scruff on his cheek. His nose twitched, and he smiled, but his eyes remained closed. "I made you breakfast…" she said enticingly. He cracked one mischievous eye open but quickly shut it again. Kensi couldn't help but laugh at his antics, relieved that he was giving her a chance to make it up to him.

"If you eat your breakfast, you might get… _dessert_…" she said, trailing her finger up his arm. His eyes popped open, and he immediately sat up in bed. Kensi couldn't help the full-bellied laugh that escaped her at that. "You are too easy."

"Ah, but that's why you love me Fern," Deeks said. They both froze as they comprehended his words. Deeks immediately began to think of a way to backtrack, while Kensi fought the inclination to run.

"Yeah," she said softly, looking into his eyes. After all, it was his birthday. So today, _she_ could be bold; _she _could take this step. Because it was the truth. "That's why I love you."

It was a round about way to be sure, but she'd still said it. Deeks couldn't help but grin.

"It's mutual," he whispered as he pulled her in for a real kiss. They're not to the I-love-you-I-love-you-too stage yet (though really that's what they both feel), but this is a good step in the right direction.

So, on Deeks's fifth birthday as her partner, things were different. The battles weren't over yet, but the frozen lake was crossed. The walls were coming down, and things were looking up. Raccoons mate for life, and knives aren't just knives, and boxes really don't matter, while it may not be _official_-official, they were pretty damn good shipmates.

Eventually, he pulled back from the kiss and looked into her mismatched eyes for a long moment. She smiled shyly, reaching around him for his breakfast tray. He laughed as she watched him eat, eventually offering her his plate.

As they sat there on his bed, eating breakfast in silence, Kensi couldn't help thinking that she had all day to make it up to him. It was his fifth birthday since they'd become partners, and she would put forth a full-out Kensi Blye effort to make it one of his best _ever_.

Sometimes the fifth time's a charm.

* * *

_**Thanks for reading guys! If there's interest, I may do a follow up of like a party… maybe include Kip? Let me know :)**_

_**Blessings (again),**_

_**bookdiva**_


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